


can't begin to tell you

by frausorge



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Los Angeles Kings, M/M, San Jose Sharks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8972239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frausorge/pseuds/frausorge
Summary: Martin needs to make a call.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this video.](http://www.dereferer.org/?https%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eyoutube%2Ecom%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D74k48%2Dn%5F7M8) Title from Jimmy Rushing.

Martin loves winning, so he's psyched when he and Dilly get the overtime goal to take down Tyler and Cliff. But part of him is also relieved that Tyler doesn't seem terribly cut up about losing. 

"Sometimes you win some, you lose some," Tyler says philosophically.

"Not really, you guys just lose some," Martin tells him. 

Tyler doesn't chirp back, only giggles, and he sounds so lighthearted and happy that it makes Martin smile just to hear it. It also reminds him of something else that he can't quite put his finger on, as the stream cuts off and he's left alone in the locker room. Well, not alone; Dills is there, of course, and the camera crew now packing up their gear. But while they were playing it felt almost like he could be sitting on the other couch in Cliffy's living room, passing the controllers from hand to hand, ready to defend against Tyler's surprise tickle attacks and order in pizza at the end of the round. That warmth vanished with the feed, and its absence leaves him feeling a little hollow.

The answer hits him when he and Brenden are halfway to the parking lot. "Tomáš!" Martin says out loud.

"What?" Brenden says.

"Oh, sorry," Martin says. "I was just trying to remember- Toff, at the end there, the way he was laughing really reminded me of someone, and I just realized, it's Tomáš. You know how he starts giggling when Tommy's ribbing him? That's what Toff sounded like."

Brenden stops and looks at Martin. Then he shakes his head.

"You don't think?" Martin says.

"No, yeah, I do," Brenden says, moving forward again. "I think it's exactly like that. On his side, anyway."

"What does that mean?"

Brenden shakes his head again and starts walking faster. Martin has long legs, though, and it's easy for him to keep up. "Dills! Come on, what's that supposed to mean?"

Brenden has to stop when they reach his car. "Joner-" he says, turning to face Martin, and his expression turns serious all of a sudden. "You really need me to tell you?"

"Tell me what," Martin says.

Brenden turns his hands out, palms up. "Look. Are you straight?"

Martin did not see that question coming. He gapes for a moment, but there's only one answer he can give: "No." He runs his fingers through his hair, and can't help adding, "I didn't think that was a secret."

Brenden scrunches his face up. "I thought maybe, but you've never really said."

"I'm bi," Martin says flatly. "So?"

"So," Brenden says, "then I think Toffoli's at least one step better off than Herts."

"What," Martin says on reflex. But the comparison is straightforward enough. The situation with Tomáš and Tommy is going to take some careful navigation, if Brenden's right about them, but that'll have to be dealt with later, because Martin can only focus on one thing now. "You think- you think Toff-"

The warm feeling from before puts its hood back and grins at him with Tyler's wide smile.

Brenden's saying something else. Martin tries to tune back in. "-take it from there, ok? I do not need to be involved in your business."

"Uh, sure."

"And just for the record, I am pretty much straight, but I kind of took the long road to figure that out."

"That's... great," Martin says. "Congratulations."

Brenden slaps him on the back. "Good talk. Wanna go get some bubble tea?"

"No," Martin says. "No, I need to make a phone call."

Brenden laughs and socks Martin in the shoulder. Then he gets in his car and drives away.

Martin finds himself in his own car, and then at his own front door, without quite noticing how it happened.

"Joner!" Tyler says when the Skype call connects. "You wanna start the rematch already?"

Martin smiles. "That was fun today," he says.

"Yeah," Tyler says. "Don't worry though, we'll get you next time."

"You can try," Martin says. "Speaking of next time, though." This is so dumb; his pulse is racing and his throat is dry, but he forces the words out. "When we come there next month- when I'm there, you want to go out for dinner?"

"Sure, sounds good," Tyler says. "You want me to round up the boys?"

"No," Martin says. His face is hot, and the back of his neck itches. He lifts a hand to scratch it. "I mean just you. And, uh, me."

Tyler is silent for a moment. "Are you fucking with me right now," he says, low.

Martin shakes his head. "Let me take you out," he says.

"Fuck you," Tyler says. "Fuck, Joner, what- why are you doing this now?"

"I kind of had some things pointed out to me," Martin admits. Tyler looks unimpressed. "I just- I miss you, ok? It was so great today, and I wished I was there with you, and it made me think-" He lifts a hand and lets it fall again. "I wish I was with you. I want to be with you."

"And that never occurred to you when you were, like, actually here?"

"I don't know," Martin says. "Everything was always so unsettled when I was there. I don't know if I, I couldn't see it, or I wasn't ready, or what. But I know I want this now."

Tyler is quiet for another long minute. "I was gonna get over you," he says softly.

"No," Martin says. He shakes his head helplessly. "No, don't."

They look at each other through the cameras.

"You-" Tyler takes a deep breath. "You're gonna buy me the biggest steak known to mankind. And then you're gonna take me home and fuck me till I say you can stop. And you're gonna think about that every day between now and then."

" _Tyler_ ," Martin says.

"Holy shit," Tyler says. "Joner. Martin."

"I'm sorry I left you hanging for so long," Martin says in a rush. "I'm gonna work for you, ok? I'm gonna put in the work."

"Yeah you will," Tyler says. He lifts his head and looks Martin square in the eye, and his smile is blinding.


End file.
